I recently attended the Brooklyn Museum’s Gilbert & George retrospective. The Italian-British duo has been creating art together since the early 1970s, a divine time to break out into large-scale neon pseudo-sacred collages heavy in urban boy love imagery. My personal favorite is the above-pictured Hope from 1984. The series of six lusciously coiffed floating heads across the top evoke David Bowie.

Themes of boy love call to mind my recent run-in with Tom Cruise on the street in front of the trendy West Village eatery, the Waverly Inn. He was short, cute, wearing sneakers, and talking on a cell phone. I stared at him inappropriately, because I thought he was a cute guy bearing an uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise. We maintained eye contact until I crossed the street and looked back to find him gesturing at me, as though to ask, “What? That’s it? Where are you going?” I would have invited him to dinner, or to jump around on a couch with me, but it was not until later that I realized it was Tom Cruise and not his youthful doppelganger.

This afternoon I bumped into Will Arnett, Arrested Development’s favorite “sexually deviant magician,” Gob Bluth. I charmed him with my juvenile autograph solicitation routine. He promptly asked, “Are you visiting from out of town?” It seemed like an unseasoned Gob Bluth pickup line, but the encounter was intriguing due to the excess of Arrested Development re-runs I have watched in the last week.

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