Valentino: The Last Emperor, the new documentary about the famous Italian couturier, is an explosion of diamonds, dandies, pugs, and real estate porn. It was difficult to discern the exact theme of the movie, except for to say: “Valentino is a divine Italian gentleman who leads a life of decadence, is very demanding about the details, and represents a bygone era of true handmade La Dolce Vita.” There were a few amusing debacles between Valentino and his ‘business’ partner, Giancarlo, over the following ‘issues’: crystal beading on a white dress, sand dunes on a runway set, levels of skin tanning, and the height at which to hang mannequins.

But frivolities of the fashion world aside—the ending of Valentino’s career is a symbol for the end of people getting properly dressed. As the Jet Set society photographer, Slim Aarons, once I photographed in exile in Sicily in 1949]…The gangsters wanted to look nice. Today everyone wants to look like a gangster.” Between the pimp-chic and hipster-homeless aesthetics that permeate the celebrity circuits, soon enough we’ll all be wearing nothing but shiny chain-link jewelry, ripped tights, and ratty Converse sneakers. Oops. I am wearing that right now. As always, I am well-situated on the cusp of all things gauche.

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