In French the word for friend, “un ami (m.)/une amie (f.)” is used to refer to the people in your life with whom you genuinely want to spend time. But there is another word for friend—”un copain (m.)/une copine (f.)”—used to describe that slew of acquaintances with whom you are ‘friendly.’ Maybe you’ll kiss cheeks with your “copines” at a cocktail party, you’ll probably attend the shower for their first baby, and “a copain” will definitely call on you when they are in need of real estate advice (if you are in real estate), or legal advice (if you are a lawyer). Most of us have between 13 and 1,500 “copains” and between 3 and 12 “vrais amis.”

A French woman living in New York City was bereft when she realized that there was no English translation for the terms for real and superficial friends. She kept searching for a word to describe the gaggle of New Yorkers with whom she was ‘friendly.’ The French are experts in the act of being gauche and passing it off as exceedingly decorous (e.g. eating the end of the baguette while walking home from the boulangerie; rarely showering; openly informing each other if they are getting fat or if they have gained weight; rarely arriving on time; accepting obscene sexuality as art; etc.). New Yorkers are less pretentious about their own gaucheness.

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