Since Michael Jackson died, it has been a surreal world out there—mainly because the only songs played in public areas are MJ classics. The dance club near my current residence was no exception. And even though the crowd was mixed, the music was kickin’ it old school.

Gauche things to do on the dance floor:

1. Mentioning to a random girl nearby that you didn’t apply deodorant this morning. (Body odor is never an ideal pickup-line component).

2. Approaching a girl who just did a jump split and asking her, “Don’t you need to warm up before you do that again?”

3. Doing any dance move that simulates fishing.

4. Using an architectural element that vaguely resembles a pole … as a pole.

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