In the midst of my last-minute attempt to finish a draft of my senior essay, I am procrastinating to no end. Today this meant taking coffee with one of my oldest friends in the world, who was recently elected by the Eastern College Athletic Conference (ECAC, an acronym I never thought I’d understand, let alone use) as their “Hockey Student-Athlete of the Year.” This honor seems prestigious.

Gauche Things to do during a reunion with your high school friend:

1. When discussing your social lives: revealing that you have been stalking them (or their older brother) on the Facebook, by saying something like: “Well, you certainly seemed pretty frisky in that green shirt on Saturday night…”

2. When mentioning their high school sweetheart-slash-ex-boyfriend’s name: saying, “How’s he doing? I haven’t heard from him since that night on Fire Island this summer. He pretty much disappeared after eggs…”

3. When ordering food: asking the waiter, “Do you have some sort of business woman special?” This is not so much gauche as a brilliant allusion to a good old-fashioned American epic.

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