Through an anonymous exchange of phone numbers at a classic Parisian club, I recently met a minor French TV celebrity. That is to say, he intrigued me, so I scribbled my cell phone number onto a slip of paper and ‘dropped’ it into his hand while leaving the lounge. This sort of behavior is typically labeled as “forward” or “desperate” or “gauche,” but sometimes you meet someone and you don’t want to risk never seeing them again.

I struggled through a prolonged series of textual exchanges with Le Papillon du Soir (‘The Butterfly of the Night,” aka. the mystery man’s nickname from the French press). While he seemed like a nice, well-educated, charming little French man from a vaguely Catholic and vaguely aristocratic family, it turns out that all he wanted was one thing from me …

When I asked him why he was so fixated on playing out a sexual scenario involving masks at midnight and a minimal exchange of words, he replied with the following Wanker of the Week text messages:

1. “Cause I love sex and friendship not more darling!”

2. “Why? I just like sex but I want to stay alone darling…”

Moral of the story: ‘Butterflies of the night’ are similar to vampires, so be careful where you ‘drop’ your phone number.

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