While searching for a decent apple at the corner epicerie near my apartment one frostbitten Sunday night, the two overly solicitous shopkeepers asked me, “What are you looking for, young lady?” I told them I was looking for a good apple, but I was having a hard time in my search, since most of the fruit was shriveled and over-ripe.

The flirtatious men tried to sell me their bad apples, and then when I refused, they said, “Take a banana! Why don’t you want a banana?” I found the symbolism too laughable to permit me any more time wasted on the sidewalk with these lurking fruit sellers. And then one of the guys exclaimed, “If you buy my banana, you have to sleep with me tonight!” It was an interesting sales technique that I would never suggest repeating if you are working on commission.

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