When two people decide to take the next step in their relationship and move in together, disaster inevitably ensues … It can become a chaotic game of emotionally unavailable men, secretive women, and at the end of the day, it’s all about money sense and logistical convenience.

Gauche Things To Do To Your Lover-Roommate:

1. Moving in with them merely because their apartment is more conveniently located to your place of work.

2. Shouting at them before 9am — especially if it is in order to take their laptop from them and use it as an ironing board.

3. Insulting the way that they use kitchenware. (e.g. if they are cooking pasta for the two of you, avoid saying things like, “Do you intentionally put the stove up that hot? It scorches the pan!”)

4. Snoring so loudly that it prevents your lover from getting a good night’s sleep, and then reprimanding them for escaping from the bed in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch.

5. Insulting them for wearing “too many clothes” in the apartment, and expecting them to be always in the nude. Then accusing them of being “A Puritan.” (This is a common problem in Franco-American relationships.)

6. Using your lover’s apartment as a laundromat and office, because your own slum apartment is cold, drafty, under construction, and without a washing machine.

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