Ever since I watched them playing devious little toddlers on Fullhouse, I knew I had started a life-long obsession. But now that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are 23 years old, just like me, and they are selling their glamorous West Village penthouse for $8.45 million, as though it’s an old sock they want to get rid [...]

Large men with leathery skin and nubile young maidens flock to The Russian and Turkish Baths in Manhattan’s East Village for a no-frills “spa” experience in the vein of traditional thermal bathing. For $30 you can spend an entire day sweating out toxins in various steam rooms and saunas, making languorous conversation with partially nude strangers [...]

I recently realized that I the man I was dating was almost three times my age. I could no longer see the charm in his traditionalist, sexist, colonialist, elitist outlook on life. So I decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately, I had left a lot of valuable personal items in his apartment. I [...]

I had the mixed fortune of being the hand-model-slash-display-girl at a very serious jewelry auction in the French Alps last weekend. The crowd was just as you would expect (except that there were fewer Russians since it was so late in the ski seasons). My personal favorite was the semi-elderly ex-wife of a very rich [...]

I was swinging about at the Tribeca Film Festival, when I had the mixed fortune to see Michael Winterbottom’s scandalous new film, The Killer Inside Me. Based on Jim Thompson’s 1952 crime novel, it stars Casey Affleck as a smart sociopath known in his small Texas town as nothing more than the sweet-faced, soft-spoken sheriff. [...]

After an evening of cocktails with another starving writer in Paris’ Montmartre, I walked home past the charmingly outdated strip clubs of Place Pigalle. A large fellow approached me and whispered in my ear, “You’re not looking for a job, are you?” I followed this mysterious strip-club manager into the dingy velveteen interior of PUSSY’S [...]