The new Woody Allen film, Whatever Works, is all about unconventional love matches. Larry David plays a crotchety self-proclaimed genius who gave up a luxurious Upper West Side apartment, a professorship at Columbia, and a lovely wife … for a dingy hole in Chinatown and a life of reclusive morbid neuroticism. In short, Larry David [...]

Maintaining an LDR (Long-Distance Relationship) can be taxing at best, especially during the humid summer months when peoples hormones are blazing, and men want to act like wankers, and Princesses in Flight want to flit about town. But there is a practical solution to this plight: SKEX, which I can only describe to you as [...]

On the one sunny day of the greyest month since 1855, I made a pilgrimage to the home of Edward Gorey near the beaches of Cape Cod. Gorey was a lonely sort whose delightfully morbid stories and drawings have enchanted the world with their timeless sense of deranged Edwardian decorum. Before Gorey retired to the [...]

In Woody Allen’s early-90s divorce epic, Scenes from a Mall, Allen plays a sell-out lawyer who deals sneakers to sports teams. He breaks the news of his multiple infidelities to his wife—on their 16th wedding anniversary—in a shopping mall—over frozen yogurt. In short, he is in true Wanker of the Week form. Bette Midler plays [...]

After a great period of change or upheaval in life, there is a common tendency to spend up to five days Google searching “silent retreats in the mountains.” My sister used to do this when she was about to break up with her boyfriend, but was still living with him. These “meditation centers” usually advertise [...]

While taking a break from post-graduation reality TV marathons, joblessness, and torrential downpours, I attempted to engage in a bit of good Old Master Venetian paintings, or “culture,” as they call it up in The Ivory Tower (which I always thought was a nice way of saying ‘elitist white people who go to Ivy League [...]

I hosted a reunion fête for my oldest friends in the world—the ones who used to accompany me as a twelve-year-old girl dressed in drag parading around the local video store on Friday nights banging on tambourines to attract awkward attention. Our nostalgic slumber party was upgraded from our middle school days of Toll House [...]

What happens if you are finally lucky enough to find your Prince, and he makes you feel so happy and settled in yourself that you no longer want to be a princess in flight? Usually, couples refer to this moment as: “the decision to cohabit.” Some say that living together before marriage leads to no [...]

Marina Abramovic, the performance artist famous for testing the limits of the body through a variety of media (Russian knives, catatonia pills, bullets, etc.), just announced that she will be installing herself in the MoMA for 586 hours next year. Abramovic will stand on a shelf suspended 50 feet high against the wall of the [...]

Lazing about Central Park eating grapes and gruyère under a lush green canopy, I noticed an oversized pink balloon that was pinned to the nearby forest floor. It waved in the wind, like all the eerie ambiance of Alice In Wonderland. The pink balloon was a signpost for party guests to an all-afternoon baby shower.
Fresh-looking [...]