On a trip to the picturesque and somewhat deserted Parisian suburb of Conflans-Sainte-Honorine, I fell in love with a six-year-old boy, the little cousin of my French Goddess. He spent ten minutes eating his soft-boiled egg from the rooster-shaped egg stand that his older sister had hand-painted. After cracking and laboriously picking away at the [...]

Sipping champagne and eating macaroons at Hotel Fouquet’s off of the Champs-Élysées was followed by dancing at the grungy-but-cool art-and-film-world boîte, Le Baron. The second storey terrace of Fouquet’s was dolled up for Christmas and had a revolving light installation reminiscent of Las Vegas. Parisian Christmas decorations are surprisingly tacky and American. There is an [...]

Things I love about Paris:
1. Men at 7pm walking home eating le croûton of the baguette.
2. The way the nightclubs are a bit lousy. It is not a city for going out to les boîtes (like Manhattan) but more a place of private parties and dinners.
3. The lack of proper standing showers. [...]

A critical difference between French people (especially Parisians) and Americans is really something of privacy. Parisians tend to be so private. The kind of self-exhibitionism that is rampant in the states is not cool in Paris. For example, one never looks at other people in the metro. I wear my aviator sunglasses to watch at [...]

I arrived in Paris to join one of the loves of my life, a French actress whose classic beauty is a mix of Sophia Loren’s cheekbone sultriness and Audrey Hepburn’s waifish charm. My friend was raised in the forest but escaped to Paris when she was thirteen years old to pursue drama classes and begin [...]

I am leaving for Paris tonight. In French the word for flight is the same as the word for escape. The expression “to take flight” is the same as “to flee.” The word is feminine. I wonder if women take to hopping on planes and relocating for karmic realignment more frequently than men do. A [...]

Last week a band of cross-dressing jewel thieves stole 102 million dollars worth of loot from the Harry Winston store on Paris’ fashionable Avenue Montaigne. Armed, wigged, and dangerous, they not only snagged items from the display cases but also knew the ins and outs of the goods in the back room and called the [...]

The holidays fill me with cheer at the fact that the sooner they approach, the sooner they are over, and the sooner we can get on with a brand new unsullied year.
All I Want For Christmas:
1. A literary agent for my recently drafted novel (well, preferably a book deal from an established publishing house, but [...]

I received a bizarre email from a past lover who is now buried in an unfortunate conjugal bed. It seems that his desires for me have been resuscitated, or maybe they never died. Unfortunately, his grand gesture came out as a somewhat violent proposition for “intense physical engagement (no holds, no limits, fully engaged blow [...]