Gauche is a term that pops into my life more and more frequently…
GAUCHE: French, literally means “left,” also: “1: lacking social experience or grace; also: not tactful: crude <gauche to mention the subject> 2: crudely made or done <gauche turn of phrase>”; also has connotations of the Left Bank in Paris and its more artistic [...]

As I stepped out of the elegant Art Deco lobby for the last time, I expected the doormen to be smug and satisfied that the five-month-non-tenant-impostor was making her exit. But to my surprise, the doormen exclaimed, “We’ll miss you! You were always such a sweet girl. We put in a good word for you.” [...]

Through my pseudo-eviction and last-minute packing, the luxe environs of the Gramercy Park Hotel eased my preemptive separation anxiety. My final night in Manhattan was spent with two close friends: a slightly reformed winner of the Wanker of the Week award, and the vivacious redhead known for breaking champagne glasses. Hollywood director-producer extraordinaire, Ed Zwick, [...]

I woke up on Saturday morning to discover an unfortunate note slipped underneath the door of my Park Avenue maid’s quarters. The doormen and other tenants complained about me to the the elderly man who owns the glorified storage space in which I am living. His personal assistant cross-examined me, asking, “Do you have someone [...]

I recently met up with a very important man for drinks. I suppose I stalked him. It turns out I have relative success with pseudo-stalking male celebrities and masquerading as a girl less desperate and deranged than I truly am. In the past year I have finagled my way into a personal email correspondence with [...]

Things are strangely familiar these days. I went on a jaunt to New Haven to meet the celebrated transvestite-potter-artist-extraordinaire, Grayson Perry. He was in his little girl persona, Claire, who wore a poufy silk dress (pictured above) with red tulle underlay and a black bib embellished with rhinestone-encrusted phallic rocket ships. Perry’s main source of [...]

On Halloween I was lured to Brooklyn’s Dumbo to help out with a Tisch student film. The cinematographer happened to be Hollywood It boy and newly enrolled NYU film student, James Franco. He was wearing a very intense long green coat that had an odd fur hood—think football coach meets Russian militia meets Prada Sport. [...]